Weddings are an anxious time, ticking so many boxes and keeping so many people happy. But then I realised (with the help of my husband-to-be) that we can just ignore some of those ‘essential’ traditions and make our lives that much easier.
With just 15 days to go, I am finally coming to the realisation that organising a wedding is a terrifyingly complex job. Even as a type this, I feel a rising sense of panic at the gazillion little things I really, really to get organised with really, really not very long to go. Those name tags aren’t going to make themselves, the table plan isn’t going to suddenly be finished and these nails aren’t going to paint themselves!
But I’ve also come to the realisation that an important part of wedding planning involves identifying things that we really don’t give a sh*t about. I can’t do everything, and so it feels liberating that, instead of coming up with a cursed spreadsheet of things I have to do, I’ve scribbled a list of things I absolutely refuse to care about. I recommend every bride-to-be comes up with five things they either won’t do or will leave to fate, maybe while cackling in a slightly manic way. Here’s my list:
1. Wedding Favours
You could spend the day before your wedding sticking cute personalised labels to mini pots of honey, or wrapping pretty ribbons around dinky chocolate boxes– or you could spend that time drinking wine with friends and family, getting your nails done, or just frolicking in your pyjamas doing a little “I’m getting married” jig. I know what I’ll be doing. I’ve never left a wedding thinking, “You know what? It was that little bottle of limoncello that really made the day for me.” And there’s no risk any of my friends or family will be leaving my wedding thinking that either. I’ve gone for possibly the cheapest and tastiest treat I could find, pre-done, from a Farmers market. If people like it, cool, if they don’t, I couldn’t care less.
2. Menu Choices
Who knew something so easy could be so difficult. Of course you need to cater to those with allergies and preferences, IE. Vegans, Veggies and nut allergies. Thats totally acceptable. Replying to our RSVPs with “I don’t like mushrooms” or “I only eat well done red meet” etc…. that’s not cool, and after much deliberation – we don’t care what you like or don’t like. We are lucky enough to have a great menu with plenty of choice and those picky people can order whatever they fancy on the dare.
3. Order of Ceremony booklets
So many times I’ve tucked a beautifully-made service booklet into my clutch bag on the way out of a wedding, thinking it would make a great souvenir. And then it sits on my bedside table for several weeks, before migrating to a little unkempt pile near the bedside table, before being thrown away on the rare occasions I tidy up my hovel of a bedroom. I am pretty sure this reaction is universal.
4. Guest logistics
After a couple of frantic emails checking that guests have booked hotel rooms and understand how to get to the venue, I’ve decided to wash my hands of all of my guests’ logistics. They are adults, and my wedding is in Farnham not Finland, so I will place my faith in their ability to read a map, book a hotel room and call a taxi home.
5. Reception Music
A jazz band or string quartet are both lovely, but who spends much time amid the free champagne and canapés listening to either? We’ll whack on a couple of good CDs, and focus on a DJ to fire up the dance floor later on instead.