Christmas is approaching. That romantic time of year when many couples will take the leap and get engaged. So, how can you tell if your boyfriend is getting ready to ask you to marry him? Here are a few ideas…
1. You wake up in the middle of the night completely freaked out because he’s wearing night vision goggles and tying a piece of cotton around your wedding ring finger… (Apparently some men have been told this is a good way to get your ring size sorted. It isn’t.) Or you find a ring missing from your jewellery box and think you’ve been burgled but he’s so not bothered.
2. He casually asks for your dad’s mobile number. (This applies if he’s quite a traditional type – also possibly if your dad is extremely scary, Italian, or both.)
3. He books a table at your best ever restaurant which is so expensive the last time he took you the bill made his ears bleed. And it’s not even your birthday!
4. His behaviour starts becoming unusual. He takes your girlfriends into corners and asks them whispery questions which leave them all shiny-eyed and staring at you with “awww” smiles on their faces.
5. He announces: ‘I’m in my overdraft so I can’t really afford to buy a massive Christmas present this year, but don’t worry, when you find out the reason why you won’t mind.’ Really subtle, this one.
6. He takes matters into his own hands and books a mini-break or absurdly lavish foreign holiday – when usually his input is confined to grunting, on the plane, ‘what’s the currency where we’re going again?’
7. He says things like: ‘I think people that propose in hot air balloons are so naff, don’t you. Don’t you?? Oh, what? You’d like it, wouldn’t you? I can tell. Oh, sh**, sh**, sh**.’ Smacks forehead with hand repeatedly.
8. He starts taking a decidedly unblokey interest in other people’s weddings, such as commenting, ‘I thought the lace on Kate Middleton’s dress was so simple and classic, but I do think Pippa went a bit far upstaging her with the whole bum thing, don’t you? I’d never forgive that in a bridesmaid.’
9. Closer to the time, he starts sweating, dropping things, patting his pockets neurotically and generally acting as if he’s about to sit his A-levels in the nude.
10. He insists on going for an out-of-character walk to a destination with a panoramic view then bends down on one knee… and he isn’t tying his shoelace.
Your proposal is imminent.