[Totally Mortifying]

Off on a bit of a tangent today, but quite a funny one. I’ve recently been on a week’s trail at my new local gym and I thought I might tell you about a class I decided to give a try – ‘High Energy Dance’.

Now the first thing to know, before I start this, is that I’m incredibly shy when it comes to big groups. People never seem to believe me, but if you stick me in a room with strangers, by myself, I just freeze. I have no wanting to ‘break the ice’, or even look anyone in the eye. I have no idea why, I’m quite a confident person when with friends or in small groups…but never on my own. As more and more middle-aged women arrived, it was obviously they were ‘regulars’. This filled me with mixed feelings, pleased that I knew I was probably equally as fit as most of them, but still very freaked out that I was clearly the scared shitless new girl in the corner.

Then it all began…. OH MY GOD.

It very quickly became apparent that these regulars knew the moves already, and there was no need to ‘give the new girl a chance’. Each set of moves was done to 4 beats, these beats/moves then being repeated three times before being totally changed for a new one, never to be returned to. I found myself spinning the wrong way, having people hop towards me and I shuffle back…It was horrific.

I have to say it was the worst experience of my life. At one point a woman (wearing hot pants far too short and tight for her) who was old enough to be my mother, stopped and started giggling at me. I honestly wanted to world to open up and swallow me. I couldn’t work out if I was bright red in the face because of the exercise or the sheer embarrassment.

In a nutshell, I will not be taking part in ‘high energy dance’ again, ever.

(I did not look this good)

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